


Home Is Where the Heart Is

by shions_heart



Series: The Heart of Nekoma [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (implied/referenced only), Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magic, Confessions, Explicit Sexual Content, Friendship, Getting Together, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Past Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 10:33:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7680961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shions_heart/pseuds/shions_heart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the group makes their way to Karasuno, Kuroo realizes his feelings for Kenma go much deeper than that of simple friendship. Unfortunately, it doesn't appear as though these feelings are reciprocated. Even so, Kuroo's determined to get Kenma to safety once and for all.</p><p>((Not a stand-alone fic. Please read the first two installments of the series before this one!))</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Is Where the Heart Is

**Author's Note:**

> After nearly an entire year this series is complete! I'm so sorry this last installment took so long /)u(\ I had to scrap my original idea for the ending, and I just tonight figured out the ending I wanted.
> 
> So at long last, here you go!
> 
> ((to skip the smut, stop at "He hopes he doesn't fuck up" and resume at "His fingers pull away"))
> 
> Enjoy!

Snow falls gently on the travelers, as they make camp in a clearing not far from the road. The horses are fed and watered, and Akaashi and Kuroo make a tent by draping a blanket over some low-hanging branches. While they do, Bokuto gathers wood and rocks, clearing a spot near the tent to make a fire. It takes a while for the damp branches to catch, but with Hinata’s help, they manage to spark a flame. Kenma stands off to the side, watching everyone with his usual placid expression, though Kuroo notices the faint flush that colors his cheeks every time Hinata calls to him.

“Kuroo-san,” Akaashi says softly.

Kuroo starts, focusing his attention back to the task at hand, noticing how one of his sides of the blanket they’re currently adjusting has slipped off its branch. Grimacing, he sets it back in place.

“Sorry,” he says.

Akaashi appears to want to say something else, but instead he simply purses his lips and nods, stepping back to survey their handiwork.

“It won’t hold in the event of a real snowstorm,” he admits. “But it’ll do for now.”

“Akaashi!” Bokuto exclaims, hopping away from the fire with a grin. “Look at how awesome my fire is! I bet others can’t make a fire as great as this one.”

“Bokuto-san, you shouldn’t brag. Hinata-san assisted you,” Akaashi points out.

Bokuto’s face falls, and Akaashi’s eyes widen slightly. “But it’s very nice, thank you for making it,” he adds quickly, reaching out to pat Bokuto’s arm awkwardly.

Bokuto brightens once more, and Kuroo hides a snicker behind his hand. He nearly jumps out of his skin, though, when a soft voice speaks beside him.

“Are we almost to Karasuno?”

Kuroo whirls to look down at Kenma, clutching at his rapidly beating heart. “Kenma! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

Kenma blinks slowly at him. “I wasn’t sneaking.”

Hinata hops over to them. “I think we’re still a few days away,” he says, in answer to Kenma’s question. “We took a longer route to avoid the main roads, right?” He looks to Kuroo for confirmation.

“Uh, yeah,” Kuroo says with a nod.

“We’ll be there soon though, Kenma, don’t worry!” Hinata says, grabbing Kenma’s hands and giving them a squeeze, still smiling that bright smile that’s practically made of sunshine itself.

Kuroo again notes how Kenma seems flustered by both the smile and the handholding, and he can’t help the slight twinge of betrayal that pricks his chest. He knows he has no reason to be jealous. Kenma isn’t his, and besides, Kenma has known this kid a lot longer than he’s known Kuroo. It makes sense that they’d be closer and more at ease with each other. And Kuroo honestly doesn’t mind their closeness, because he can see how happy it makes Kenma. He seems more relaxed, doesn’t hunch his shoulders as often. His lips quirk in tiny smiles, and Kuroo thinks he’s even seen him laugh once or twice during their journey because of Hinata’s antics.

So really, Hinata is a blessing, a welcome addition to their group, and Kuroo is grateful for his presence.

But he can’t help but feel hurt coiling tightly within him whenever Kenma decides to use Hinata as a human heating source instead of Kuroo. On the road, Kenma will nap with his head in Hinata’s lap, and at night he’ll curl around the smaller boy. Kuroo knows he still has Bokuto to press against, and he does so contentedly, but it’s not the same.

He sits by the fire, contemplating whether or not to take first watch, as the rest get ready for sleep. Bokuto drops heavily beside him with a sigh, wrapped in a thick blanket. His lips are chapped and somewhat blue, and Kuroo wonders if he’ll be okay. He’s never run quite as warm as Kuroo.

“You all right, man?” Kuroo asks, tugging on the blanket gently.

Bokuto huffs, his breath escaping with a puff of white mist. “I’ll be glad when spring finally gets here,” he admits.

Kuroo murmurs his agreement, turning his attention to the fire. Behind him, he can hear Hinata telling one of his stories again. It’s a new one every night. He usually tells tales about his experiments with magic, and he enjoys telling the ones that have backfired in ridiculous ways the most, because they usually make Kenma laugh. Kuroo strains his hearing now, hoping to catch that laugh, but this tale seems to be more serious in nature.

“. . . and Kageyama thought I was dead,” Hinata is saying. “But I wasn’t. Just knocked out pretty bad. When I woke up I couldn’t remember a thing! He yelled at me so much his face turned red like a tomato, but I was so confused!”

“You shouldn’t have attempted such a dangerous spell without the proper experience, Shouyou,” Kenma admonishes softly.

Hinata laughs. “But I’m fine! So it’s okay,” he says with a grin.

Curious about something, Kuroo turns around, putting his back to the fire. Leaning over his knees, he points a finger at Hinata. “Yo, Shrimpy. How does magic work, exactly? Do you have to be born with it to use it?”

Hinata shakes his head. “Oh, no you don’t,” he says, moving to sit on his knees. He places his hands on them, grinning over at Kuroo. “I mean, it’s easier to advance when you have a natural gift for it. I was born with the gift, and so was Kageyama. But we have a refugee from Aobajousai who doesn’t have the gift of magic at all, and he’s still one of the best at the school. He just has to work harder at it.”

Kuroo nods slowly, wondering if he would be able to learn any magic. It’d be helpful if he could keep Kenma safe with means beyond the ordinary. He rests his chin on his arms, tilting his head as he looks between Kenma and Hinata.

“How do you know if someone has a natural gift for it?” he asks. “Is there a test you have to take or—?”

“Nope! No, test. You just kind of sense it about people. They have an aura that other magic users and people with the gift can sense. For instance, Kenma’s aura is really strong.” He points to the boy next to him.

Kenma’s shoulders rise toward his ears slightly. “That’s only because it’s in my bloodstream,” he says. “My master created me so I would be born practically made of magic. Even non-magic gifted people can sense it.” Here he looks at Kuroo, and Kuroo can’t help but nod in agreement.

“Bokuto-san has it too!” Hinata exclaims then, pointing at where Bokuto sits beside Kuroo.

Everyone pauses at that, turning to look at Bokuto. Bokuto stares back at them all with wide eyes. “Shit, I do?!” he asks incredulously.

Hinata nods. “It’s faint, but it’s there. You probably never realized it but you’ve always been really good at something that other people shouldn’t be that great at.”

Bokuto blinks, a wide grin spreading across his face. “Hey, hey you’re right! Hey, Akaashi! Akaashi!”

Akaashi looks up from where he’s sewing a patch over a hole in one of Kuroo’s shirts. Bokuto gestures to himself wildly, nearly smacking Kuroo in the face with his flailing hand. He ducks just in time.

“The kid says I have magic! I’ve got magic, Akaashi! Isn’t that awesome?”

Akaashi glanced between Hinata and Bokuto. “Is that true?” he asks skeptically.

“Hey!” Bokuto exclaims, frowning faintly now.

But Hinata nods again. “It’s true. I can sense it on him.”

“He _has_ always been really good at sensing things that are about to happen,” Kuroo muses. “He always knew when we had to leave a house because the owners were coming back, or when the sheriff was going to walk by when we were pickpocketing.” He hesitates then, glancing over at Kenma. “He also told me I should go find you when Shiratorizawa took you.”

Kenma looks at him, blinking slowly. Kuroo blinks back and doesn’t miss the faint blush that colors Kenma’s cheeks, as he quickly turns away.

“Well . . . that’s really impressive then, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi concedes with a faint smile. “Congratulations.”

“I’m gonna start studying when we get to Karasuno,” Bokuto declares, moving to sit next to Hinata then. “Tell me all about it, okay? I wanna know about this school. Can I get in? Is there an entrance exam? I don’t really know how to read that good, but I bet I’ll do great anyway. This is so cool!”

As the two begin to chatter on about Hinata’s school, Kuroo abandons his spot by the fire to crawl beneath the makeshift tent, curling up next to Kenma’s side. He lies down, pressing his face into Kenma’s lower back gently. He can feel the boy stiffen slightly, but after a moment he relaxes and twists around to look down at him.

“Are you going to sleep like that?” he asks.

“Maybe,” Kuroo says, wrapping his arms around Kenma’s waist and tugging him closer.

Kenma doesn’t resist but allows his body to sink against Kuroo’s, their body heat merging to comfortable warmth that fights back the chill in the air. Kuroo tugs him down gently until he’s fitted tight against his chest. He nuzzles his nose into the top of Kenma’s hair, breathing in his scent. He smells like smoke from the fire and sweat, but that’s okay, because it’s Kenma.

He shifts, and Kuroo’s arm tightens around him momentarily on instinct, but Kenma only turns to face him, the tip of his nose red from the cold. Kuroo resists the urge to kiss it. Sometimes he wonders if the kiss they shared at the inn was simply a feverish dream his mind conjured up while he was under the effects of the poison. They haven’t kissed since, and Kenma hasn’t brought it up, so some days Kuroo doubts it ever happened. But he can still feel that soft mouth against his, that small pink tongue licking past his lips, and he knows that it couldn’t have been a dream if he remembers it so vividly.

“Hey,” Kuroo says softly, as Hinata tells Bokuto about a flying enchantment some students put on broomsticks. “Do you think I should learn magic too when we get to Karasuno?”

Kenma doesn’t focus on his eyes, but rather looks at his hair, and the unruly fringe that hangs in front of his face. He reaches up, his fingers twisting into the strands gently, his hand obscuring Kuroo’s vision. “No.”

Kuroo tries to ignore the twinge of hurt he feels at the word. He takes Kenma’s hand, lowering it from his hair. Kenma’s fingers are cold, so he brings them to his lips, breathing gently on them. “Why not? You don’t think I’d make a good magician?”

Kenma purses his lips. “A lot of people want to use you when you have magic. They don’t treat you the same as they do other people.”

Kuroo rubs Kenma’s fingers gently between his own. “Isn’t that the point though? I bet me and Bo could make a lot of money if we became magicians. We could get a place for the four of us. You could go to school too, if you wanted. We could get you another kitten.” Kuroo smiles, kissing the pads of Kenma’s fingers lightly. They’re warm now, so he let’s them go afterwards, albeit reluctantly.

Kenma frowns faintly, drawing his hand to his chest. “I don’t want anyone to see you like an object, a tool to be used.”

Kuroo pauses, recognizing Kenma’s fear now. He smiles faintly, tucking a strand of Kenma’s hair behind his ear. “If I could take care of you, I won’t care if people use me,” he says quietly. “It’d be worth it.”

Kenma doesn’t reply to that, but simply scoots further down to bury his face in Kuroo’s chest, and Kuroo feels gratified that he gets to hold Kenma tonight, silently thanking Bokuto for keeping Hinata occupied.

 

 

 

 

Of course as soon as they’re on the road again, Hinata once more monopolizes Kenma’s time. Kuroo tells himself it’s fine, that Kenma is happy with Hinata and that’s all that matters. But it gets beneath his skin like an itch that he can’t stop scratching, and he confesses to Bokuto one night that sometimes he wants to take his blanket and smother Hinata in his sleep.

Bokuto barks a laugh. “You’ve got it bad, man,” he says, shaking his head. “You should just _talk_ to him. Kenma, I mean. I’m sure he likes you best.” He pats Kuroo’s shoulder, and Kuroo resists the urge to ask Bokuto when he's going to do the same with Akaashi.

The closer they get to Karasuno, though, the more Kuroo tells himself to relax. Once they reach the country Hinata will return to his family and school and everything will be back to the way it was. Of course he knows that the growing space between him and Kenma has less to do with Hinata’s presence and more to do with his own cowardice. He resolves to say something soon, because he doesn’t like the things he’s feeling and thinking toward Hinata. He knows it isn’t fair, and that Kenma’s happiness should be the most important thing, but he can’t help but wish he could be the one making Kenma laugh and smile.

A day outside of Karasuno, they stop to hunt for food. They’ve run out of their supplies and Akaashi mentions that they shouldn’t go into any cities or towns at the risk of someone recognizing them. It’s quite clear now that they’re wanted men, and they’ve seen vague sketches of Kuroo and Bokuto posted here and there on their journey. It only says they’re wanted for kidnapping, however, and there’s no actual description of Kenma on the posters. Kuroo supposes that means the king still wants to keep his secret weapon hidden from the rest of Nekoma.

Kenma expresses distaste at hunting, saying he’ll stay with the cart. Bokuto volunteers to go with Akaashi, and Kuroo strikes out on his own, leaving Hinata with Kenma to look out for him. His hunt doesn’t prove very fruitful, however, and Kuroo finds himself wandering back toward the cart empty-handed, his stomach growling softly. Cursing his bad luck, he almost walks by the clearing filled with steam, and has to double back once his body registers that it felt heat coming from between the trees.

He makes his way into the clearing, immediately feeling flushed beneath his heavy clothes. He realizes he’s stumbled upon a trio of hot springs, and the heat emanating from them has melted the snow around them, leaving the grass brown and damp. Grinning, Kuroo begins to strip off his layers, thinking of how nice it will be to soak in the hot water after weeks of traveling. He’s gotten down to his loincloth when a soft sound causes him to pause. He looks up, peering through the fog.

He sees the water ripple, hears the small splash of someone leaving one of the pools. Kuroo bends slowly, reaching for his discarded knife.

“Who’s there?” he asks steadily, eyes narrowing as he tries to see past the steam rising before him.

A short figure emerges, pale skin glistening with water and sweat, golden hair sticking to the side of a familiar face. Kuroo feels his cheeks growing warm, as he realizes who it is a second before Kenma steps into view. He’s naked, and Kuroo turns away swiftly before he can catch himself staring.

“I’m sorry!” he says quickly, suddenly very aware of his own mostly nude state. He grimaces, realizing he probably should have checked the area to see if the pools were occupied before stripping. He drops the knife, unsure of how long to stand there with his back turned.

He’s contemplating glancing back to see if Kenma has dressed or returned to the pool, when he feels warm fingers touch his back. Kuroo freezes, his entire being stiffening, as his heart pounds faster, thudding against his ribcage. Those fingers begin to trail across his back to his side, brushing against his arm, as Kenma moves around to stand in front of him.

“I don’t mind if you join me,” he says softly, his gaze on the ground, his face flushed.

Kuroo feels lightheaded. He tells himself to keep his eyes on Kenma’s face, as he licks his dry lips.

“I-I couldn’t—”

Kenma tilts his head, looking up at Kuroo then with a faint frown. “Why not?”

_Because there is nothing on this earth I so desire as to be by your side forever. Because you are powerful and amazing and captivating, and I am nothing more than a penniless thief._

Kuroo can’t find the words to say the thoughts swirling through his mind. Instead, he drops to his knees before Kenma, head bowed. Kenma hops back a step with a small squeak of surprise, but Kuroo keeps his gaze pointed toward the damp, brown grass beneath him.

“I’m not worthy to look upon you in such an . . . intimate setting,” he admits softly. “Kenma, you . . . I . . .”

Those small, slender fingers glide through his hair, pushing his head back so he’s forced to look up into Kenma’s face. He’s still wearing that tiny, confused frown. And it’s so endearing, Kuroo clenches his hands into fists to resist the urge to grab him and kiss him senseless.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Kenma says quietly.

“I’m nothing, a nobody,” Kuroo attempts to explain. “And you . . . you’re . . .”

“A tool. An object of destruction,” Kenma prompts. He says the words factually, as though he accepted them as truth a long time ago.

Kuroo shakes his head. Slowly, he lifts his hands, setting them on either side of Kenma’s slender hips. Kenma’s skin is smooth, soft beneath his rough palms. He gently slides his thumbs against the curves of Kenma’s hipbones; though he keeps his eyes focused on Kenma’s face, studying the pout of his lips, the amber of his eyes. Already there’s some black at his scalp, fading into the gold of the strands.

“You’re not destructive,” Kuroo says firmly. Kenma’s fingers curl tighter into his hair, and Kuroo can’t help but smile faintly. “You healed me, remember?”

Kenma ducks his head, turning his gaze away. “That was Shouyou—”

“That was _you_. Hinata spoke the incantation, but it was _your_ power, _your_ strength that fueled his magic. You’re incredible, Kenma. I wish you could see that.” Reaching up with one hand, Kuroo gently tucks a strand of hair behind Kenma’s ear. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

Kenma’s face feels warm beneath his fingertips, as he allows them to linger against his cheek. Kenma turns into the touch, closing his eyes, and Kuroo feels his stomach drop. Carefully, he brushes his thumb against Kenma’s cheekbone. When Kenma doesn’t move away, Kuroo grows bolder and tugs Kenma closer by the grip he still has on his hip. Kenma steps forward, opening his eyes then.

Kuroo finds himself transfixed by the gaze; it’s sharp, calculating, observant. It feels as though Kenma can see straight into his heart, his mind, his soul. A shiver runs down his spine, but he keeps his head up, meets the gaze squarely. There’s a gleam in those eyes, something not quite human, shimmering gold spirals across Kenma’s irises.

He recalls what Hinata said before, about how Kenma’s aura is so enhanced by the magic in his veins that even those without the gift can sense it. Kuroo isn’t sure, though, if the heat he feels from that gaze is from Kenma’s aura or from the desire rising in him, faster and stronger than ever before.

Leaning forward, he presses a kiss to Kenma’s chest. He hears Kenma’s sharp intake of breath at the contact and pauses, waiting to be pushed away. But Kenma doesn’t move, and the fingers in Kuroo’s hair tremble but press gently. Taking that as encouragement, Kuroo kisses Kenma’s chest again, before trailing his lips further down his stomach and then abdomen.

He pulls his hand away from Kenma’s face in order to take his member in a light grasp, giving it a slow pull. Kenma sighs and takes his wrist, though he doesn’t pull his hand away. Kuroo pauses, lifting his head to look up into Kenma’s face once more.

“It won’t work,” Kenma tells him, looking at a spot over Kuroo’s shoulder. His bottom lip catches between his teeth.

“What won’t work?” Kuroo asks gently, loosening his hold on Kenma. He turns his hand to take Kenma’s instead, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“You won’t be able to consume my magic that way,” Kenma says, and the delicate lines of his throat constrict briefly. “The king already tried.”

Kuroo stares up at Kenma incredulously. “You think I’m . . . the king . . . he sucked you off?” The mental picture is one he finds both ludicrous and disgusting. He pulls away completely, sitting back on his heels. “Kenma, I’m not trying to take your magic.”

Kenma blinks down at him slowly. He frowns then, more confusion wrinkling his brow. “What are you doing then?”

Kuroo releases Kenma’s hand, running his fingers through his hair agitatedly. “I just wanted to make you feel good. To give you pleasure and show you . . . show you how much you mean to me.”

Kenma tilts his head. “People do that for that reason?” he asks curiously.

Kuroo’s starting to realize just how sheltered Kenma is, and his heart aches to know that his first experience with sexual contact was with someone who didn’t even care about him. He hopes they asked Kenma’s permission first, at least, though he’s starting to doubt Kenma was allowed much choice about anything in his life.

“Yes,” Kuroo replies. He bites his lip, reaching for Kenma’s hand again. “I’d like to show you, if you’re okay with that. But if you don’t want me to touch you again, I won’t. I promise.”

Kenma’s lips twitch in what could be a smile. “I’m okay with it . . . if it’s you,” he says, and his expression is open, trusting, and Kuroo feels as though he’s been given a fragile gift that he mustn’t break or tarnish. It doesn’t help calm his nerves, but he guides Kenma to stand against one of the boulders by the pool nearest to them. Kenma leans back against it, his eyes watching Kuroo. His cheeks are flushed, though Kuroo attributes that to the heat rising from the water. Its steam surrounds them, encasing them in a fog, for which Kuroo is grateful. It adds a sense of privacy.

He places himself in front of Kenma, knees sinking slightly in the dirt softened by the moisture in the air. Slowly, carefully, he runs his hands up Kenma’s thighs to his hips, stroking the soft, warm skin, caressing it. Kenma’s eyelids lower slightly, and his fingers return to Kuroo’s hair, tangling in the strands.

Kuroo swallows against the tightening in his throat. He can’t recall ever being this anxious before pleasuring someone, not even before his first time. But something feels heavy in this moment. Like it’s important somehow. He hopes he doesn’t fuck up.

“Let me know if you want me to stop, okay?” he says quietly, looking up into Kenma’s face, as his hands continue to move up and down Kenma’s hips.

Kenma nods, once, fingernails scraping gently across Kuroo’s scalp. Kuroo tells himself to keep it together and gently wraps his hand around Kenma’s member once more. He gives it a few careful tugs, watching Kenma’s face for his reaction. He sees the slow drag of Kenma’s teeth against his lower lip, the flush that crawls down his neck. His grip in Kuroo’s hair tightens, and Kuroo feels relief loosen the tension in his shoulders.

Keeping one hand still caressing Kenma’s hip, he ducks his head, sliding is tongue against the tip of the half-hard length in his hand. Kenma’s thighs twitch in response, just slightly, but Kuroo’s encouraged and rubs his thumb beneath the folds of the head, as he licks at the slit. He pulls his hand down then, dragging friction against the warm skin, before slipping his mouth over the head completely and giving a small suck.

Kenma gasps quietly, fingers twisting almost painfully in Kuroo’s hair. He doesn’t mind, though, and he continues to suck, pressing his tongue against Kenma as best he can. Kuroo pushes further down, encasing Kenma completely. The erection is hard now, veins throbbing faintly, and a soft mewl issues from Kenma, as Kuroo pulls back slowly, suctioning his cheeks to provide the most friction. Kenma shudders, biting his lip harder as another whimper escapes.

Kuroo moves his hand down to Kenma’s thigh, massaging it gently, as he continues to suck and work his tongue against the shaft and tip. When he begins to taste the sharp bitterness of pre-cum on his tongue, he quickens his pace, tightening his hold around the base. Kenma releases his lip, as his breaths come out in pants. His fingers tremble in Kuroo’s hair.

“K-Kuroo . . .” It’s a small sound, barely audible, but Kuroo’s own member twitches in response. Closing his eyes, he focuses on Kenma, twisting his hand gently at the base and adding to the sensations by resuming the tugs, as his mouth works.

He can feel the tension coiling in Kenma’s body, in the way he stiffens, and his skin quivers. Kuroo can also feel heat emanating from him in pulsing waves that match the throbbing in Kenma’s veins. Opening his eyes, Kuroo glances up along Kenma’s torso to his face. His chin his tucked against his chest, allowing his hair to fall forward; eyes closed, lips parted. His chest is heaving, shoulders and neck flushed pink to match the blush across his cheeks.

Kuroo can feel his own body reacting to the sight, but he finds himself pausing in wonder, as he realizes he can see a faint outline of golden light radiating from Kenma’s body. It shimmers around him like a second skin, and the sheen of sweat on Kenma’s skin seems to reflect it, causing his entire form to glow.

“ _Kuroo._ ”

Kenma’s hips roll forward slightly, his tone desperate, and Kuroo remembers what he’s supposed to be doing. He quickly resumes his movements, and Kenma begins to grow hot, burning beneath Kuroo’s hands and mouth. It’s not enough to hurt him yet, however, so Kuroo continues, until Kenma stiffens and cries out sharply. The strands of sticky liquid that hit the back of Kuroo’s throat are almost scalding hot, and he winces, pulling back to spit into the grass beside him.

Kenma sags against the boulder, panting heavily. His fingers pull away from Kuroo’s hair to hang limply at his sides. Slowly, he sinks to the ground, head lolling against his chest. Kuroo grimaces, realizing he probably shouldn’t have done this so close to a hot spring. Moving to pick Kenma up, he stands, carrying him away from the heat of the pools to set him close to the perimeter where the fog is weakest. The chill hits his skin with a shock, but Kenma’s still burning in his arms, so he sits where he is, cradling Kenma in his lap.

Gently, he brushes away strands of hair that cling to Kenma’s face. His eyes are still closed, though his breathing seems to have grown easier. The golden light from before has faded, yet Kuroo can still see it lingering in his vision like it’s been branded there.

“’M sorry,” Kenma murmurs.

“For what?” Kuroo asks, fingering Kenma’s hair gently.

Kenma reaches up to catch his wrist, opening his eyes to look at his palm. “For burning you.”

Kuroo glances at his palm. His skin is tinted red, but he doesn’t register any pain. He’s fairly certain it’ll go away just as the light had. He shakes his head, smiling faintly. “It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt. Nothing I can’t handle. Are _you_ okay?”

Kenma nods, his lips twitching upwards just slightly. “I’m just . . . hot.”

Kuroo bites back his initial reply to that, instead curling his fingers around Kenma’s, bringing them to his lips to kiss them gently. “I probably shouldn’t have done that so close to the spring. You overheated. I’m sorry.”

“Mm. It felt good,” Kenma says, closing his eyes again. “I liked it.”

Kuroo doesn’t attempt to stifle the swell of pride that wells in him at this admission. He grins, tapping his finger against Kenma’s nose lightly.

“There’s plenty more where that came from,” he says, then immediately regrets it. He looks away, curbing his anxiety as best he can. There’s no reason for Kenma to want him to do that again, for him to want anything like that with him. As much as Kuroo desires that type of relationship, he knows he can’t push Kenma, rush him into any decisions. Yet he can’t help how he feels, and he’s still half-hard from before.

So he stands before Kenma can answer, setting the smaller young man on his feet. “We should get dressed and get back to the others,” he says, turning toward the pile of clothes he’d left by the pool.

A small tug on his wrist causes him to turn back, though, and Kenma looks up at him with his brow furrowed slightly. “You’d do it again?” he asks, confused.

Kuroo blinks down at him, wondering if Kenma’s seriously asking that question after everything. “Kenma, I . . . all that was to show you how much I care about you.” He gestures vaguely, somewhat at a loss for words. “I’d do all that again and more if you’d let me. I’d do anything for you. I’d lay down my _life_ for you.”

_I love you._

The words get stuck in his throat. He’s never said them before, to anyone outside of Bokuto, and he feels them so strongly, so deeply, that it’s like he’s swallowed the moon and it rests heavy on his chest, cutting off his speech and air. He hopes the words he’s already said convey that, he hopes Kenma realizes what he’s struggling to say.

Kenma’s eyes are wide, lips parted just slightly. It’s difficult to read his expression (as always), but Kuroo doesn’t think there’s disgust there at least. Still, his anxiety over the whole thing causes him to pull his wrist out of Kenma’s limp grasp, and he quickly steps over to his clothes to pull them on. After a moment, he sees Kenma move to do the same with his own clothes.

A subdued silence hangs between them as they walk back toward camp. Kuroo hates it. He wants to say something, demand to know what Kenma is thinking, what he’s feeling. He’s an enigma to Kuroo, his emotions locked away and safely hidden. It’s only when they reach the camp and Kenma visibly relaxes at the sight of Hinata, rushing over to his friend as if he can’t get away from Kuroo fast enough, that Kuroo realizes that his half-confession might have frightened him.

Kuroo sometimes forgets how sheltered Kenma was while growing up. He’s probably the first person to ever express such feelings. He must’ve made Kenma uncomfortable. Mentally smacking his head against the nearest tree, Kuroo goes to check on the horses. Besides, he still has no idea if Kenma feels the same way he does. He seems to trust Kuroo and not want him to die, but Kuroo feels the same toward Bokuto. That doesn’t mean Kenma wants Kuroo to be his one and only. And that kiss at the inn . . . Kenma said himself that he’d just been trying to help Kuroo feel better. All the instances of Kenma showing affection toward him could easily be explained by the fact that Kenma was a good person who wanted to be useful, having always been used in the past.

He can’t believe he didn’t realize that sooner.

 

 

 

 

“You’ve been really mopey,” Bokuto observes, as they stop for a rest just outside the Karasuno border. Akaashi’s watering the horses, and Hinata dragged Kenma away somewhere, so it’s just the two of them in the cart, sharing a piece of deer meat back and forth.

“I think I’m in love with Kenma,” Kuroo admits with a sigh.

“Well, duh. I could’ve told you that,” Bokuto says, shaking his head. “So what’s the problem?”

Kuroo frowns. “The _problem_ is I don’t think he’s in love with me.”

Bokuto pauses, tilting his head. “You don’t? It’s pretty obvious that he likes you.”

“Yeah, he _likes_ me,” Kuroo says, leaning back in his seat. “That’s not the same thing.”

Bokuto’s already shaking his head again. “No, man, _listen_. You didn’t see him when you were dying from that poisoned arrow. He was really worried about you. And he kept asking questions about you too. About what things were like back in our village growing up.”

Kuroo grimaces. “And you told him?”

“Of course I told him! We were heroes!”

“We were thieves.”

“Who were heroes.”

Kuroo runs a hand through his hair, ruffling it in agitation. “Just because he was curious about me doesn’t mean he’s in love with me.”

Bokuto shrugs, obviously done arguing with him. “If you say so.”

Kageyama meets them at the border. Kuroo doesn’t recognize him, but as soon as the dark-haired youth came into view, Hinata leaps out of the cart with a cry of “Kageyama-kun!” and rushes forward. Kuroo expects him to tackle the other boy with a hug, but before he can get too close, Kageyama reaches out swiftly and whacks Hinata on the head.

“Dumbass!” he shouts, as Hinata leaps back and clutches the spot. “You can’t just run off like that! I’ve been covering for you. I told them you were sick but Professor Takeda’s starting to get suspicious.”

“But I _had_ to go help Kenma!” Hinata cries, frowning up at Kageyama. “His friend was dying!”

He gestures to the rest of them on the cart. Kuroo waves. Kageyama observes them all with a glare before shaking his head and turning to step past the stone marker that reads “Karasuno.” Hinata follows, but when the rest try to, they find themselves unable to advance. The horses grow agitated, stomping their feet just outside the border, tossing their heads and whinnying.

“What’s going on?” Bokuto asks with a frown.

“I don’t know,” Akaashi says, pursing his lips. “It’s like there’s something blocking their way.”

“But nothing’s there!” Bokuto exclaims, gesturing widely.

“Karasuno’s Guardian Deity,” Kenma murmurs.

Kuroo glances down at him, but before he can speak there’s a flash of light and a child appears in their path. No, not a child. Kuroo squints. It’s a man, just a very small man. He stands with his feet apart, hands on his hips, dressed in a black yukata with white trimmings. He puts one hand forward, palm out, as if to stop them, although they’ve already stopped.

“Halt! You cannot enter without paying the toll!” he declares.

“But we entered without a toll,” Kageyama points out, frowning faintly.

“I have no problem with allowing Karasuno citizens to pass. But these are from Nekoma.” The small man gestures to the cart before jabbing at his chest with his thumb. “And _I_ am Nishinoya Yuu! The Guardian Deity of Karasuno!”

Kuroo can’t help but snort softly. “Aren’t you a little short to be a deity?” he asks, hopping off the cart. He’s just about to turn and help Kenma down as well, when he hears a soft growl.

Nishinoya’s gleam red, and he jumps into the air, hurtling toward Kuroo with surprising speed. Kuroo steps back automatically, but Nishinoya stops, hovering in mid-air above Kuroo with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You want to run that by me again?” he asks in a low voice.

Kuroo raises an eyebrow, guessing he shouldn’t underestimate this guy. Bokuto inhales sharply, expecting something terrible to happen no doubt, but Kuroo meets the blazing gaze of the deity, determined to not show his fear.

“Nishinoya,” a soft voice says from the trees. “Please calm down.”

As abruptly as Nishinoya grew angry he relaxes, lowering himself to the ground as a man emerges into the road. This time Kuroo does feel a faint twinge of fear. This newcomer is at least seven feet tall, large and muscular, with long brown hair and a neatly trimmed beard. His expression is intense, and Kenma shrinks back against Bokuto in the cart.

But then the newcomer bows and when he speaks his voice is gentle, almost kind. “I apologize for my lord’s actions. He’s sensitive about his height.”

“But aren’t you a god? Can’t you just make yourself grow taller?” Hinata asks curiously.

Nishinoya frowns, rubbing his hand over the back of his head. “Well, I suppose calling me a _god_ is a bit of a stretch . . .”

“He’s a faerie contracted by Karasuno to provide protection,” the giant offers.

“Gah, Asahi! That doesn’t sound cool at all!” Nishinoya despairs, clutching at his wild hair.

Asahi smiles softly down at him. “I’m sorry, Nishinoya.”

Kuroo clears his throat. “So . . . what’s this toll then? Can’t you just let us go by since we know them?” He gestures to Hinata and Kageyama across the border.

Nishinoya turns back to them, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest. “Nope! The toll is one thousand gold pieces!”

“Oh,” Akaashi says, glancing at the small pouch of gold they’d managed to collect for this purpose. “We don’t have that.”’

Bokuto sputters. “Isn’t that a little high?!”

“ _He_ insulted my height,” Nishinoya says, pointing at Kuroo.

Kuroo grins sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry.”

Hinata hops forward. "Kenma's made of magic!" he says. "Karasuno could use someone powerful like that. And he's my best friend, so it's okay! I swear. You can trust him!"

Nishinoya squints at Kenma as though assessing him. "I do sense something about you. Come here." He beckons Kenma closer with his finger.

Kenma hesitates, glancing at the others for a moment, before hopping off the cart and approaching the guardian. Nishinoya takes Kenma's chin in his hands, ignoring the way Kenma starts at the contact, tilting his head this way and that before pressing his hand against Kenma's chest, just above his heart.

"I don't sense any evil intentions," he says agreeably. "Okay, you can pass."

Kenma doesn't move. "What about my friends?" he asks.

"What do they have to offer Karasuno?" Nishinoya asks haughtily, crossing his arms over his chest again.

"Come on, man! We're running for our lives here!" Bokuto calls. He hops off the cart and strides forward. "Just do that heart thingy on all of us and you'll see we're good people! We just want sanctuary!"

Asahi places his hand on Nishinoya's shoulder, bending low to speak into his ear, though his voice is loud enough for everyone to hear. "Nishinoya, if they're here for help . . . shouldn’t we help them? I don't think they're here to hurt anyone. Remember Aobajousai?"

The tension leaves Nishinoya's body with a sigh, and he lowers his arms to his side. "Oh, all right! You all can enter. Just so long as you're not Shiratorizawa spies!"

"Hell no!" Bokuto exclaims, shaking his head.

Kuroo's been watching everything silently. Now that they've come to Karasuno, he realizes he has a choice to make. As Kenma steps over the border to join Hinata, his chest constricts painfully. Bokuto hops back up on the cart, and Akaashi urges the horses forward.

Kuroo remains where he is. The first to notice is Kenma. Although he's holding Hinata's hand, he glances around, looking for him. When he realizes Kuroo's not there, he stops, turning around to look back. His brows furrow in confusion, and he waves at Kuroo with his free hand.

"Kuroo . . ."

Smiling faintly, Kuroo shakes his head. His place isn't by Kenma's side. He sees that now. He's not the one who brings Kenma the most happiness. All he seems to do is confuse him, and with these feelings Kuroo's positive Kenma can't reciprocate, he's not sure it would be healthy for either of them for Kuroo to remain at Kenma's side. He can't take back what he confessed, and he doesn't want to make Kenma uncomfortable the way he did back at the hot springs.

_It's better this way. He's safe, and I don't mind living on my own. I can take care of myself. Visit maybe._

He was never supposed to be Kenma's one and only. He's a common thief, and Kenma's the Heart of Nekoma. There's no way the two of them can be compatible.

But Kenma's pulling away from Hinata, hurrying back toward him, ignoring the looks the others are giving him.

"What are you doing?" Kenma asks, still frowning. "Why are you just standing here?"

"I'm not going with you."

"Why not?" Kenma asks, his lower lip protruding in a pout, as the wrinkle in his forehead deepens.

It's adorable, and Kuroo can't resist reaching out and tugging on the ends of Kenma's hair. "You don't need me," he says, forcing back the lump that's rising in his throat in order to speak normally. "I've gotten you to Karasuno. You're safe now. That's all I wanted."

"So you're leaving me?" Kenma asks, and the accusatory tone in his voice surprises Kuroo.

"I . . . can still visit. I just . . . you have Hinata, and I'm not—"

"Don't be stupid," Kenma says, and it's the harshest Kuroo's ever heard him sound. Reaching out, Kenma grabs his hand, holding it tightly in both of his. "I want you." A flush has risen on his cheeks, but those large golden eyes hold Kuroo's gaze steadily.

Kuroo's knees feel weak. "You-you mean . . ."

Kenma huffs, reaching up behind Kuroo's head and pulling him down. Kuroo's too stunned to resist, and the next thing he knows he's feeling Kenma's soft lips against his own. He feels like he's melting, all his insides turning to goo. Hesitantly, he wraps one arm around Kenma's waist, pulling him closer. Kenma moves willingly, opening his mouth against Kuroo's to prod at his lips with his tongue. Kuroo parts his lips, shuddering at the feel of Kenma's tongue meeting his.

"Whoo! Yeah! Go Tetsu!" Bokuto shouts, effectively ruining the moment.

Kenma pulls back, lowering from his toes and ducking his head, while Kuroo shoots Bokuto a glare before turning back to the young man in his arms.

"I thought . . . you liked Hinata," he admits softly, reaching up to brush Kenma's hair behind his ear in order to better see his face.

Kenma keeps his gaze on the ground. "I do," he mutters. "But . . . I like you more, I think. You saved me. You took care of me." He sighs, shaking his head. "Shouyou's my best friend, but you . . ."

He lifts his head then, looking up into Kuroo's face with so much open affection in his gaze, that Kuroo feels his skin prickle and his heart swell.

"You're my home."

"Fuck, Kenma," Kuroo breathes, the words catching in his throat. He wraps his arms tighter around him, embracing him. He buries his face in Kenma's hair, trembling, as Kenma reaches around him to hold him in return. "I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you too," Kenma mumbles into his chest.

Kuroo feels like singing. Elation enters his heart, making him feel light as air. He steps out of the hug, taking Kenma's hand again and holding it firmly.

"Let's make a home together in Karasuno then, shall we?"

Kenma nods quickly, and his eyes seem to glow with happiness, a small grin curling his lips and making Kuroo's respond in kind.

Hand-in-hand, they step over the border and join the others.

**Author's Note:**

> http://shions-heart.tumblr.com/


End file.
